That Girl♥

We got that waiting in the clinic silence.
That shhh don’t tell nobody what we did silence
and Im so tired of being your hamper that I’m about to dump out those week old stained ketchup secrets and do laundry in that silence you like keeping it quiet.
But my vagina is not your walk in closet.
You wanna stuff your doubts through me, wanna place to hang up you insecurities, want me to keep check of your hand me downs and Prada, waiting for every occasion to put me back behind closed doors and lock me in the darkness.
Nobody knows you hold my hand
and nobody knows I call you baby
and nobody know you write anonymous poems about me the type you can’t post on Facebook.
Because regardless of what you may think, I’m worth more than you deserve.
I will never be that girl, the girl that’s only allowed to make you smile when she´s making you orgasm, that girl whose day job is daydreaming waiting for her night job.
That girl who´s so in love she´ll turn her body over for your superficial touch.
You hide me behind lock doors and bed sheets
because if you dare reached out then everybody would still know that it was still about me.
So that in your heart and in your mind your still wrapped up in me.
My teardrops you own them, my hearts says you got them tied around your pencils and figures.
Yea, you may say it´s over and you may never tell me that you love me but you don’t have to cause your silence speaks volume.
You wanna hold me in your arms rock me to sleep then act like you don’t know me.
As if the moments we spent together are some kind of down payment.
As if my bedroom were lay away and that’s all you ever do is layaway roll up beside me but in the morning pull up the hoodie and run the other way.
I’m like that bastard child the reason Daddy never stuck around in the first place but for me rejection doesn´t come every other weekend..
It comes when you lower your head and pass by without speaking and I remember there was a time you could barely take your eyes off me.
I just don’t understand why its not okay for you to love me.
I guess you just want me to be that girl. .
The girl everybody wants to sleep with but nobody wants to be with.
That girl who’s only good enough for finding a suitable replacement.
And not trying to make up for the mistake but you try to convince yourself that she means everything and you want nothing to do with me but come on baby she looks just like me.
Read the signs or at least the facial features cause I was your first, your only, the prototype and she´s just a duplicate and you can never make copies without first consulting the blueprint!
You know what they say the sequel is never better than the original.
And she tries to write you stories but their only half as good, so half squinting you only hold her half as tight as you should.
Cause your other half is tangled between my bed sheets, and your other half is complete within my mind, soul, and body, and your other half is french tonguing me Monday through Friday.
I’m not fighting for joint custody.
I’m fighting for RESPECT cause I will never be content with being your back door hoe.
Your something on the side, your something to do on those lonely weekends, your closet freak.
You will never produce me to be a skank and a whore that will love you.
I’d rather spend every night crying alone on my bedroom floor than to ever be “that girl”!

-Alysia Harris

The Mistress

It’s been spoken into existence that you are what you eat, what about you are what you do? Better known as the classic “homewrecker” I’d rather be referred to as “the other woman.” The woman that has no problem picking up where you left off, finishing what you started and doing what you didn’t have the time to” my main objective is to satisfy the unfulfilled. The act of “toe stepping” can be literally or figuratively defined as to step down onto someone's toes, causing pain and or to offend or insult someone, as if causing physical pain. Frowned upon simply for its compromise of loyalty and moral respect, it’s the accumulation of desire and the disregard of any consequences.
I’ll begin with explaining the different types and methods of “toe stepping” There are many different women who are involved in this epidemic but neither less in this game all great minds don’t think alike. I say the beginner’s trade and the most common are those I’d like to call “The colleges ”, be it in the workplace, school, church or community these are the females who come in the most deceitful disguise. This girl could be a friend of both parties and is undetected by the role she plays; usually gains her status by being recognized as the “ best friend ” or even the “sister of no relation ” she uses the trust to attack from the inside. The reason this is the most common trade is simply the fact that the opposing party is blinded. And they usually would never believe that such an act could be taking place and therefore never suspect a thing. Believe it or not in most situations it’s not always intentional. They say you can’t control your heart and who you eventually fall for. Two long time friends may have never seen it coming and perhaps in most cases couldn’t stop what had become despite whomever else was already involved.

“The prowler ” She is the most obvious because she is the conniving ex-girlfriends. Her tactic is the undeniable insecurities that she is capable of inflicting on her newest victim. The prowler is so admirable because she has a hold of his past and for that reason is the most manipulative. The man is sometimes unaware of how susceptible he is of falling right back into her trap. Her strategy is to pry on what they once had and no one else is able to stop her lurking but he, himself. Whoever comes into his life after her is simply a threat and she begins to engage in “toe stepping” by doing whatever it takes to get back what she lost.
Women spend lifetimes at the hands of fate in the search for their soul mate. In most situations we come very close and who’s to say it will be the closest we may ever get. I’m sure you’ve heard you don’t know what you had until it’s gone and the same applies to the human heart; with selfish minds we tend to try and hold on to what we might not really want anymore but instead keep it in close range just because we can. “ The prowler ” is aware of the attributes of the man and she clings to him, her “toe stepping” is merely a coping mechanism. The trick of this very profound “toe stepper” is that only she can come to the realization that they are no longer, but until she reaches that point she conflicts as much pain as she possibility can for the time being.

Lastly, there is the mistress or “ the other woman ” what separates her form the rest of the former “ toe steppers ” is the fact that what she and the male has is something real a relation that neither of them can deny and in turn are trapped by their yearning desires. Whether it be pure undeniable lust or passionate love it escapes them both mutually and tears the path of anything and anyone in its way. From the outside looking in you wonder “why”, they aren’t together but that’s life, things happened and things are the way they are for many different reasons. And so this particular “ toe stepper ” is merely following her heart she doesn’t know how to listen to anything else. Sometimes it may be that she can’t compromise her feelings no matter the circumstances. It could be that the words from his lips even if lies hold too much truth against her heart that she can’t or maybe doesn’t know how to let go. I’ve witnessed that this type of “ toe stepper” doesn’t mean to inflict pain on anyone of the opposing party but her, herself as long as she is in the situation is only causing her own internal suffering. She looks from the outside, at what her heart feels is her destiny. Conflicted by the jaws of fate she looks his girl in the eyes and she see’s she has half of who she is. “the mistress and the wife are one in the same; they share half of one man who indulges in the best of two woman. ”

-Mysia Akemi Marshae'

Gettin to know me...

So this is my first blog and i just wanted to give the world in scoop on me. When it comes to me ima give it to you raw and uncut! Alot of people dont know as much as they think about me so here goes nothing! I was birthed by a crackhead-prostitute with not a clue to who my biological father is. I have an older sister name Kameya- and til this day i dont know how to refer to here. I also have a younger sister named Lynniqua who needs all the attention she can get. I must say i made it out much better then them. because i was lucky enough to have my mother; which is biologically my aunt, take me in to her arms since day one of my life and has never left my side. my sister lynn got adopted by someone out of the family and resides in florida. her parents are very old and her father is blind. SO she runs wild. My older sister Meya had it the worst. she wasnt as "lucky" as us. She had to stay with "our" mother. So only she and God knows the things that she went through living there. Now she's in the ARMY she been back in forth between Iraq and suicide watch:(! As for my "real" family... my brother Brandon and nephew Cameron; i coodnt imagine my life without them. you could never tell me that Brandon is not my brother or anybody along those lines. My imediate family consists of brandon, jadyn [lil sister]; ivy [ma]; and rocky[daddy]. and they all played a major part in my life and helped me blossom into the beautiful butterfly that i am. I told my story to say this: you can never judge a book by its cover. my mother always told me it doesnt matter where you come from its where your going. And as far as where i'm going? Right now im in my second year of college. I'm a transfer student from Virginia State University now attending William Paterson University. I am a communications major with the concentration on Radio and television. I am no diamond in the rough and i refuse for anyone to have any pitty on me. Shit if we cood choose who birthed us; i'd be a SiMMONS lol butt im not. however that will never stop me.