THE MiS-EDUCATiON OF BARBiE

You are being traded paper in exchange for you to be plastic
All Dolls will eventually mal-function
"I don't even know why you girls bother at this point like give it up, it 's me I win you lose"

Nicki MInaj,

"It's me"

I must admit

"Its, its me"

I have always been intrigued by your ass,
I guess that's what the world looked like after falling from your shoulders.
"Like give it up"

You have the heartbeat of a suicide bomber
A baseline breathing out of your pulse
Your thighs play storage for the weight of the world
I dreamed that you used to back packed, the lost raps, of Female MCs who could not find their way out the cipher
"Its just like I singlehandedly annihilated like every rape bitch in the building"

Traded in your crown for unsharpened pencils and blank CDs
"Like give it up"

Do you ever feel a cord gripping on your neck, choke, spit?
Don't let this industry fuck the Assata out of you

"Harijuku-Barbie"

Can and will never be code for queen
You are a Queen no matter how many times they try to shuffle you back in tape decks.
Bi Sex, straight, you've earned my respect

"You da Bestest"

But I know your spine binds and crooked lines
And you can't seem to write a rhyme for your broken daughters
Slaughter, bent over back, ass cracked, b***h slapped, in videos
There is nothing pedal bike pretty about broken
Do you know what this media is trying to do to you?
They will porcelain

"Barbie"

Doll the shit out of you
Leave you noose necked hanging from Zion they will Lauryn Hill you
The mis-education of a Barbie doll coming soon

"I just had an epiphany"

Barbie, I think NYC is making you forget you come from Queens
Its scary when you have wack MCs trying to ghost write your obituary
"You should buy a 16 cuz I write it good"

Your existence is not recyclable to me

"Barbie"

Stop spitting me toy stories
Of Woodys and Buzzlight Years who only come alive when no body is watching
Fake breast
Once upon a time before puberty and tissue filled training bras all little girls wanted a toy chest
What do you treasure?
You have turned your G-spot into a land-mind
Dirty, disgusting
We have been waiting centuries for a woman like you to carve your stiletto in history
This microphone is not a dildo so you are going to have to cum a little harder than that,

"I, win, I win, you lose"

Come a little harder for rap
Too many women before you have laid down tracks -- UNIT...Y?
So you wouldn't have to record your on your back
Spit some shit for girls who kiss girls and got beat down to their backs
We will remember you for that
Lips sync your screams and remember your inflections and copyright your raps
MC
"Barbie"

For young money anyone can buy themselves their own

"I'm Nicki Minaj, Nicki Lewinski, Nicki Barbie, the boss"

Crown, Vagina, Womanhood, and Talent,
All Sold separately

"Barbie"

You are being stabbed in the back
Inserted with a wind up string and a tag?

"R, R, R, Roger that"


-JASMINE MANE

SHE'S NOT THE iSSUE!

Sorry, but when it comes to unfaithful men, the other woman isn’t the problem.

I know this is hard for many women to believe, but it’s true. Too often I’ve seen women go after the other chick while never, ever going after their men. Or if they go after their man, it’s never quite with the same ferocity as they do the other woman. Or better yet, they manage to forgive the man, but not the person the man was cheating with.

The reason why the other woman isn’t the problem is because she had no loyalty to you. She didn’t request that you be her lady. She didn’t propose to you. She didn’t swear in front of God and country to love, honor and cherish you. Nothing. She has no responsibility to you what-so-ever. And that’s what women who are ready to “cut a bitch,” seem to forget.

There only person who needs to be cut (metaphorically speaking of course) is the man you’re involved with. Be it boyfriend, fiancé or husband, he’s the only one responsible for the commitment he broke, – not the chick he was cheating with. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly many women are willing to forgive their lying, cheating man – but some chick they don’t even know…well they are willing to start WWIII with her.

Unless a woman is a close relative or friend there is little reason for your anger to be directed at her. Why risk going to jail just to beat some chick down you barely even know? It’s not worth it, especially when he’s the one who hurt you.

So ladies, save your anger for the person who is responsible for your pain…your cheating man. Please, no stalking of said chick, no catfights, no keying of any cars (well maybe his) – just remember she isn’t your problem…he is.

TAKiNG BACK A CHEATER?

Often times couples find themselves in situations where everyone has all the answers to their problems, but they don’t hand out any manuals. Without the manual it’s really hard to ever quite understand how to follow someone’s advice. Imagine if you’re problem was finding a place to live, and your friend told you, “Here’s what you should do…build a house.” That advice makes perfect sense, but it means nothing if they don’t tell you how to build a house. Moreover, what does that advice mean if your friend is homeless? That’s how I see problems in relationships.

“Everybody can tell you how to do it, they never did it.” – S. Carter.

Take for example, pregnancy. Everyone can tell you what they would do if they found out they were pregnant, but nobody but you has to live with that baby. What about domestic violence? Every woman is quick to say you should leave him, but what are you supposed to do when your heart tells you to stay and forgive? And lastly, when your significant other cheats on you, what should you do? Everyone says leave, but when your heart tells you to stay and forgive what do you do?

A lot of couples are able to work through cheating through therapy. There are life changes that must be made, but I’ve seen it work when both parties in a relationship were dedicated to making the relationship work. In my opinion, it’s because not all cheating is the same. Cheating is cheating, I do not doubt that, but what I’m saying is that there’s always a reason for why anything happens. Identifying the reason why someone chooses to be unfaithful can sometimes let you know whether it’s possible to reconcile and continue in the relationship.

Cheating is different at all stages of your life and relationship. When you think about cheating in high school, it wasn’t that big of a deal because relationships only last a couple of weeks, an advisory if you were lucky. Most people blame cheating in college on “hey, it’s college.” When you leave college things are a little different. The way you deal with cheating changes. Most unmarried couples will most likely call it quits if they haven’t been together for a year before their partner is double dipping. It becomes increasingly more complicated for married couples once children and finances are involved, the decision to split over infidelity isn’t so simple.

After twenty years of marriage and three kids a woman may step outside of her marriage to find excitement in life because the passion is gone. Dissolving that marriage can lead to a long legal process of settling two estates and not to mention a custody battle that can drag on for years. Or the couple may choose counseling to identify why the woman cheated and ways to prevent it from happening again. Can a man be man enough to put away his pride to save his family?

Are all mistakes created equal? Are some sins unforgivable? Some of us take our vows at the altar of a church, are you as forgiving as your God? When does cheating go from being a mistake to being a pattern? Does anyone really believe that someone can be addicted to sex? What about an eye for an eye? Does it balance the scale if you are allowed one night of infidelity too?

I always recommend that couples write down all the things that their relationship means to them. What it gives them and what they give in their relationship is important. Write down what makes a relationship and write down what breaks a relationship. When you get to a topic like cheating, you have to ask yourself, “Is it worth giving it all up over cheating?” If a relationship is a body, and sex is like a leg, should I kill myself because I broke my leg? I’m just putting it out there, but to some couples cheating may be the heart. Some people view cheating as a violation of trust and others view it as sex. Each couple has to make that decision for themselves.

The only thing I would advise couples against is making decisions too quickly. Relationships take years to grow and develop, a one night stand lasts just a few short minutes. Deciding to call it quits because someone cheated may feel like the right thing to do at the time. But in the long run, you’re going to have to resolve those feelings of pain and hurt of being cheated on anyway. Choose carefully if you want to do that alone, know that when you’re done you’ll have to deal with the pain of losing a partner too. I see people make the wrong decision all the time because of pride and ego, they end up unhappy and bitter. They end up alone.

BOOK OF THE MONTH

Urban fiction diva Keisha Ervin is back with Gunz and Roses, her latest story of street love. Time stands still as up and coming fashion editor Gray Rose watches the man of her dreams walk into the club. The last thing St. Louis kingpin Gunz Marciano wants is to become attached to one woman until he spots Gray. After one night of erotic passion, Gunz and Gray embark on a tumultuous journey. When their obsessive love becomes too much and Gunz wants out, Gray is ready to let him go. Then she learns the identity of his new woman, and things get complicated. Gunz and Roses is a sensational, passionate drama filled with an intense mix of suspense, lies, and murder. Gunz is your ideal "Bad Guy" not looking for love; relationships; or commitment. He's aways been alone; he's not used to letting anybody in. His father has been out of his life every since his sister past away. As for Rose she's just a girl looking for love. She's willing and ready to give her ALL to a man that she can call her own. As Gunz and Gray get caught up in the game of lust; will the reality of what Gunz does for a living push Gray away or will their love for each other be enough for them to stay together...

UNTiTLED

Does it bother you that my life has success?
Or does it bother you that I'm better than the rest?
Does it bother you that I have all goals and no dreams?
Because in my shoes it seems as if I murdered your self esteem.
But it's obviously a false dichotomy that you don't like me and aren't too fond of me simply because I aim high like stars in astronomy.
But ironicly when you actually grow up you want to be like me.
It's cool though.
Just fall in line, because your not the only one who has me on their mind.
I wouldn't say it's a waste of time, I'd say it's a form of glory and shine.
But to close on a good note, I'd like to take out my time to apologize.
Waste my time to apologize for you to be so asanine and get like me, and get on your grind to reach high.
-Larnell Ellison

NEVER♥

I COULD NEVER GIVE YOU MY HEART CUZ IM SMART KNOWING THAT WHEN WE
PART IM HEARTLESS AND REGARDLESS OF HOW DEEP IN LOVE I FEEL LETS BE REAL TRUST ISNT REAL WHEN LUST IS AN OPTION THAT YOU CAN FEEL.
EVEN I SPILL OUT MY HEART AND START BEING FAITHFUL THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU"LL DO THE SAME THING AS WELL ..SHIT YOU PROBABLY TAKE ADVANTAGE AND TRY TO HAVE ME UNDER A SPELL...
I COULD NEVER BE YOUR ROMEO CUZ YOUR FAR FROM A JULIET ..YOU WANT ME TO PUT IN WORK BUT I AINT TRYNA BREAK A SWEAT
RELATIONSHIPS ARE JUST A GAME WHERE PLAYERS AND WHORES SLING THE WORD LOVE AROUND LIKE CRACK ...AND LIKE NAIIVE FEINS OF LOVE STRUNG OUT GOOD GUYS AND GIRLS KEEP RUNNING BACK.
BUT NOW I KNOW U COULD NEVER SATISFY MY FIX NO MATTER HOW MANY HITS ITS ALWAYS GONNA BE THE SAME SHIT BCUZ ITS NOT JUST LOVE YOU MIX INFIDELITY LIES AND TRUSWORTHYNESS IN YOUR SHIT.
I COULD NEVER BUILD A HOUSEHOLD WITH YOU CUZ A HOUSE BUILT ON A WEAK FOUNDATION IS BOUND TO CRUMBLE BASED ON GRAVITES AND THATS A HARSH REALITY ..
THE SADDEST PART OF THIS IS ALL IS DESPITE ALL YOUR FLAWS AND THE LAWS YOU BREAK YOU MAKE MY HEART SMILE AND MY SOUL LAUGH AND MY PAST FADE AND ME LOVE YOU AND WAYS THAT I CANT DESCRIBE EVERY TIME I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES AND THATS WHY
I COULD NEVER STRAY AWAY FROM YOU OR OR CHEAT ON YOU OR GET MAD AND WANNA BEAT ON YOU CUZ I COULD NEVER LEAVE CUZ DEEP DOWN INSIDE I NEED YOU....

-Vance Green

YESTERDAY i CRiED

Yesterday, I cried.
I came home, went straight to my room,
sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra,
and I had myself a good cry.
I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.
I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday, I cried,
for all the days that I was too busy,
or too tired, or too mad to cry.
I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected,
and disconnected my Self from myself,
only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others
did to me the same things I had already done to myself.
I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen;
for all the things I had asked for that had yet to show up;
for all the things I had accomplished, only to give them away,
to people in circumstances, which left me feeling empty,
and battered and plain old used.
I cried because there really does come a time when
the only thing left for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because little boys get left by their daddies;
and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies don't know what to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.
I cried because I had a little boy,
and because I was a little girl,
and because I was a mommy who didn't know what to do,
and because I wanted my daddy to be there so badly until I ached.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt has no place to go
except deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place,
and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.
I cried because it was too late.
I cried because it was time.
I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know
that my soul knew everything that I needed to know.
I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt so good.
It felt so very, very bad.
In the midst of my crying,
I felt my freedom coming,
Because...

Yesterday, I cried
with an agenda.




-Iyanla Vanzant

That Girl♥

We got that waiting in the clinic silence.
That shhh don’t tell nobody what we did silence
and Im so tired of being your hamper that I’m about to dump out those week old stained ketchup secrets and do laundry in that silence you like keeping it quiet.
But my vagina is not your walk in closet.
You wanna stuff your doubts through me, wanna place to hang up you insecurities, want me to keep check of your hand me downs and Prada, waiting for every occasion to put me back behind closed doors and lock me in the darkness.
Nobody knows you hold my hand
and nobody knows I call you baby
and nobody know you write anonymous poems about me the type you can’t post on Facebook.
Because regardless of what you may think, I’m worth more than you deserve.
I will never be that girl, the girl that’s only allowed to make you smile when she´s making you orgasm, that girl whose day job is daydreaming waiting for her night job.
That girl who´s so in love she´ll turn her body over for your superficial touch.
You hide me behind lock doors and bed sheets
because if you dare reached out then everybody would still know that it was still about me.
So that in your heart and in your mind your still wrapped up in me.
My teardrops you own them, my hearts says you got them tied around your pencils and figures.
Yea, you may say it´s over and you may never tell me that you love me but you don’t have to cause your silence speaks volume.
You wanna hold me in your arms rock me to sleep then act like you don’t know me.
As if the moments we spent together are some kind of down payment.
As if my bedroom were lay away and that’s all you ever do is layaway roll up beside me but in the morning pull up the hoodie and run the other way.
I’m like that bastard child the reason Daddy never stuck around in the first place but for me rejection doesn´t come every other weekend..
It comes when you lower your head and pass by without speaking and I remember there was a time you could barely take your eyes off me.
I just don’t understand why its not okay for you to love me.
I guess you just want me to be that girl. .
The girl everybody wants to sleep with but nobody wants to be with.
That girl who’s only good enough for finding a suitable replacement.
And not trying to make up for the mistake but you try to convince yourself that she means everything and you want nothing to do with me but come on baby she looks just like me.
Read the signs or at least the facial features cause I was your first, your only, the prototype and she´s just a duplicate and you can never make copies without first consulting the blueprint!
You know what they say the sequel is never better than the original.
And she tries to write you stories but their only half as good, so half squinting you only hold her half as tight as you should.
Cause your other half is tangled between my bed sheets, and your other half is complete within my mind, soul, and body, and your other half is french tonguing me Monday through Friday.
I’m not fighting for joint custody.
I’m fighting for RESPECT cause I will never be content with being your back door hoe.
Your something on the side, your something to do on those lonely weekends, your closet freak.
You will never produce me to be a skank and a whore that will love you.
I’d rather spend every night crying alone on my bedroom floor than to ever be “that girl”!

-Alysia Harris

The Mistress

It’s been spoken into existence that you are what you eat, what about you are what you do? Better known as the classic “homewrecker” I’d rather be referred to as “the other woman.” The woman that has no problem picking up where you left off, finishing what you started and doing what you didn’t have the time to” my main objective is to satisfy the unfulfilled. The act of “toe stepping” can be literally or figuratively defined as to step down onto someone's toes, causing pain and or to offend or insult someone, as if causing physical pain. Frowned upon simply for its compromise of loyalty and moral respect, it’s the accumulation of desire and the disregard of any consequences.
I’ll begin with explaining the different types and methods of “toe stepping” There are many different women who are involved in this epidemic but neither less in this game all great minds don’t think alike. I say the beginner’s trade and the most common are those I’d like to call “The colleges ”, be it in the workplace, school, church or community these are the females who come in the most deceitful disguise. This girl could be a friend of both parties and is undetected by the role she plays; usually gains her status by being recognized as the “ best friend ” or even the “sister of no relation ” she uses the trust to attack from the inside. The reason this is the most common trade is simply the fact that the opposing party is blinded. And they usually would never believe that such an act could be taking place and therefore never suspect a thing. Believe it or not in most situations it’s not always intentional. They say you can’t control your heart and who you eventually fall for. Two long time friends may have never seen it coming and perhaps in most cases couldn’t stop what had become despite whomever else was already involved.

“The prowler ” She is the most obvious because she is the conniving ex-girlfriends. Her tactic is the undeniable insecurities that she is capable of inflicting on her newest victim. The prowler is so admirable because she has a hold of his past and for that reason is the most manipulative. The man is sometimes unaware of how susceptible he is of falling right back into her trap. Her strategy is to pry on what they once had and no one else is able to stop her lurking but he, himself. Whoever comes into his life after her is simply a threat and she begins to engage in “toe stepping” by doing whatever it takes to get back what she lost.
Women spend lifetimes at the hands of fate in the search for their soul mate. In most situations we come very close and who’s to say it will be the closest we may ever get. I’m sure you’ve heard you don’t know what you had until it’s gone and the same applies to the human heart; with selfish minds we tend to try and hold on to what we might not really want anymore but instead keep it in close range just because we can. “ The prowler ” is aware of the attributes of the man and she clings to him, her “toe stepping” is merely a coping mechanism. The trick of this very profound “toe stepper” is that only she can come to the realization that they are no longer, but until she reaches that point she conflicts as much pain as she possibility can for the time being.

Lastly, there is the mistress or “ the other woman ” what separates her form the rest of the former “ toe steppers ” is the fact that what she and the male has is something real a relation that neither of them can deny and in turn are trapped by their yearning desires. Whether it be pure undeniable lust or passionate love it escapes them both mutually and tears the path of anything and anyone in its way. From the outside looking in you wonder “why”, they aren’t together but that’s life, things happened and things are the way they are for many different reasons. And so this particular “ toe stepper ” is merely following her heart she doesn’t know how to listen to anything else. Sometimes it may be that she can’t compromise her feelings no matter the circumstances. It could be that the words from his lips even if lies hold too much truth against her heart that she can’t or maybe doesn’t know how to let go. I’ve witnessed that this type of “ toe stepper” doesn’t mean to inflict pain on anyone of the opposing party but her, herself as long as she is in the situation is only causing her own internal suffering. She looks from the outside, at what her heart feels is her destiny. Conflicted by the jaws of fate she looks his girl in the eyes and she see’s she has half of who she is. “the mistress and the wife are one in the same; they share half of one man who indulges in the best of two woman. ”

-Mysia Akemi Marshae'

Gettin to know me...

So this is my first blog and i just wanted to give the world in scoop on me. When it comes to me ima give it to you raw and uncut! Alot of people dont know as much as they think about me so here goes nothing! I was birthed by a crackhead-prostitute with not a clue to who my biological father is. I have an older sister name Kameya- and til this day i dont know how to refer to here. I also have a younger sister named Lynniqua who needs all the attention she can get. I must say i made it out much better then them. because i was lucky enough to have my mother; which is biologically my aunt, take me in to her arms since day one of my life and has never left my side. my sister lynn got adopted by someone out of the family and resides in florida. her parents are very old and her father is blind. SO she runs wild. My older sister Meya had it the worst. she wasnt as "lucky" as us. She had to stay with "our" mother. So only she and God knows the things that she went through living there. Now she's in the ARMY she been back in forth between Iraq and suicide watch:(! As for my "real" family... my brother Brandon and nephew Cameron; i coodnt imagine my life without them. you could never tell me that Brandon is not my brother or anybody along those lines. My imediate family consists of brandon, jadyn [lil sister]; ivy [ma]; and rocky[daddy]. and they all played a major part in my life and helped me blossom into the beautiful butterfly that i am. I told my story to say this: you can never judge a book by its cover. my mother always told me it doesnt matter where you come from its where your going. And as far as where i'm going? Right now im in my second year of college. I'm a transfer student from Virginia State University now attending William Paterson University. I am a communications major with the concentration on Radio and television. I am no diamond in the rough and i refuse for anyone to have any pitty on me. Shit if we cood choose who birthed us; i'd be a SiMMONS lol butt im not. however that will never stop me.